The most incomprehensible man in Washington is Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig Jr., and US English teachers have given him a prize for it - the 1981 Doublespeak Award, given by the 70,000-member National Council of Teachers of English.
The US Army almost snatched the prize for turning a jeep into a ''high-mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle.''
And the Environmental Protection Agency was a strong contender for phrases like ''degree of mitigation of risk'' (how risky).
But such Haig treasures as ''caveat my response'' and ''saddle myself with a statistical fence'' assured him of the prize. For sheer obfuscation, tautology, and mind-boggling unintelligibility, the Doublespeak committee found the Secretary without rival.
Mr. Haig had made no comment Sunday, lucid or otherwise, on the honor. But he is in good company - last year's winner was his boss, President Reagan.