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Answering the (Better) Junk Mail

Dear would-be vendor of the chilly tour Of old Antarctica: I could almost As readily afford the Taj Mahal, With elephants and pearls. Convey, therefore, My starchiest regrets to all your formal Neighbors, the penguins. I shall not arrive. No need for you to build, as did Czarina Anna, a glittering ice palace. Think Of what you'll save in icicles and frost! And should some lonely seal be disappointed, He will (you may depend on it) at once Console himself with - slurp - a jeweled fish.

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