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Ode to Bowls That Fumbled and Never Scored

Remember Cherry, Grape, and Oil? Bowls that rose and were quickly foiled?

Or Camelia, Mercy, and Salad?

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All are part of football's lonesome ballad

of cities pushing bowls like Rose, Sugar, and Cotton

but got ticket sales a little short of rotten.

Gone are Delta, Gotham, and Shrine,

(Hey! Why not a Kiwi, Soup, or Pine?)

and way down in Cuba, circa 1937,

the Bacardi bowl was hardly leaven.

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Villanova tied Auburn, 7 to 7.

Six years earlier, Pittsburgh tried for bowl fame,

but ``Pittsburgh Charity'' was the dullest name;

No score between Duquesne and Carnegie Tech,

so Pittsburgh fans yawned and said, ``What the heck?''

What's the secret of bowls that stay and last

within the game that moves so fast?

Aside from TV rights and teams that rage and score,

your friendly corporate sponsor needs money galore.

But most important of all,

keep some hot air in the ball.

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