My husband, Joe, snores loudly enough to strip paint. The decibel level is comparable to that of a jet aircraft. Considering the number of snore-stopping devices advertised on late-night television, the problem must not be that uncommon. Every basement inventor seems to have a patented cure.
Considering the creativity of our dog, Misty, I should have realized we could count on her to find a solution. A mixed-breed pound puppy, she demonstrated her ingenuity at an early age when a friend came by one afternoon carrying a large soft-drink cup. To keep it out of her reach, he placed it in the center of our breakfast-room table. Misty's curiosity was aroused. She was determined to find out what was in that cup.
As I sat in the family room I could see her pondering the problem. Too far away to stop her, I watched helplessly as she took the tablecloth in her teeth and pulled the cup to the edge of the table - and down to the floor. That's when we started using placemats.
One evening not long after that, Joe had stretched out on the sofa while I sat watching television. As usual, it wasn't long before his snores were rattling the windowpanes. I knew something was up when I noticed Misty standing beside the sofa staring at his open mouth. I admit I could have prevented what happened next, but I was too fascinated to intervene. As I watched, Misty retrieved her current favorite toy: a well-chewed tennis ball. Ball in mouth, she jumped up on the far end of the sofa and carefully walked along the edge of the cushions until her muzzle was directly above Joe's mouth. With unerring accuracy she scored a direct hit.
Needless to say, the snoring stopped immediately. Joe awoke sputtering and spitting, the tennis ball arcing across the table. Misty, with characteristic good sense, headed for parts unknown. I was laughing too hard to disclaim credit, but Joe swore I had put Misty up to it.
For quite a while after that, whenever Joe's snoring reached high levels, all I had to do was tell Misty to get her ball. No matter how sound asleep he had been, Joe was instantly awake. Misty never had to repeat her performance.
As I said, I should have known Misty would come up with a solution. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll ever be able to patent it.
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