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Meet the 10 grandmas that I'm married to

During the eternity before our children had children, I tried to comfort everybody by asking, "Who wants to be married to a grandmother anyway?"

Now that the toddlers have arrived, I am not married to a grandmother but to at least 10 of them:

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Grandma the Nurturer: An artist of really small orders of pasta and nonrunny eggs.

Grandma the Disciplinarian: "Please don't leave your juice glass on the sofa."

Grandma the Arbitrator: "How about taking turns with the hose?"

Grandma the Pedagogue: "What's the first thing you do to put lipstick away?" Smeary moppet competently twists tube and retracts half-inch of product.

Grandma the Athlete: Who knew she'd show them how to jump on the bed?

Grandma the Entertainer: So what if someone who can barely put a sentence together calls her "silly Grandma"?

Grandma the Acolyte: Always quick to marvel at the artist's work and mop up what spilled onto the table.

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Grandma the Diaper Dervish: It's enough that she does it at all, but she does it so fast with backfields in motion.

Grandma the Perfectionist: To 3-year-old helping feed baby brother: "No, not in his nose."

Grandma the Grandma: "I love you."


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