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'Let's Pretend This Never Happened': 7 stories from a memoir by The Bloggess

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2. Pet raccoons

Lawson remembers one point in her childhood when her family kept a pet raccoon who, she says, was obsessed with washing things. "His name was Rambo, and he'd learned how to turn on the bathroom sink and would wash random things in it all the time, like it was his own private river," she wrote. "Once, we came home to find Rambo in the sink, washing a tiny sliver of soap that had been a new bath-size bar that morning. He looked exhausted, and like he wanted someone to stop him and put him to bed, but when we tried to take away the last bit of soap he growled at us, and so we let him finish, because at that point I guess it was like a vendetta, if raccoons had vendettas."

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