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An 'interview' with a K Street master of campaign clichés

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Q: So what will determine the outcome of the election?

A: It’s the economy, stupid. People vote with their pocketbooks. But it also depends on which side can control the narrative and rally its base. Turnout is key. What’s more, candidates have to connect with the voters on a gut level.

Q: Let’s look at the big picture. In politics, what is the key to success?

A: Ah, I see that you’re looking for a game changer. Well, I have to tell you that there are no silver bullets. In a riverboat gamble, sometimes you just have to double down. Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re going to get. I’ve got the scars to prove it. But looking back, I’m pretty happy with the arc of my life. On my watch as a wordsmith, my work has always gone viral in the echo chamber.

Q: So you supply mixed metaphors along with clichés?

A. Certainly: I’m a 24/7, full-service, jack-of-all-trades. I am loaded with killer apps.

Q: You’ve alluded to technology. What changes has it brought?

A: Technology changes everything. It makes the world flatter and more global. It shrinks the earth and expands our universe. But there are challenges before us. It is absolutely essential that we make the Internet completely transparent. And we have to do everything in our power to protect privacy on the web. We have no choice but to stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of our freedom and individuality.

Q: I see that you throw in oxymorons with the clichés and mixed metaphors.

A: Yes, it’s a Zen thing. But when you throw a Hail Mary pass, you can hit a home run. 

Q: Speaking of which, how do you employ the language of sports?

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