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Let’s bailout Wall Street, Main Street ... and Podhurst Lane?

Lawmakers only talk about the two streets, but everyone on all the other cul-de-sacs and avenues says: We’re broke, too.

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As pundits and politicians debate the pros and cons of government efforts to bail out the troubled American financial system, one idea that all sides agree on is that any solution must benefit both Main Street and Wall Street.

But good intentions triggered a bitter behind-the-scenes controversy that threatened to engulf neighborhoods across the US. According to a source close to the negotiations, language was inserted in an early draft of the rescue plan that specifically mentioned “Wall Street” and “Main Street” as part of a wide-ranging policy framework.

“A huge blunder,” says the source. “Right away angry phone calls started coming in from people who lived on Maple Street, University Avenue, and Podhurst Lane. They claimed to be just as mainstream as people who live on Main Street and demanded the same level of official respect and recognition in the legislation.”

Rumors began to circulate that bloggers and podcasters were forming lobbying networks with names like “Strike Back For The Cul-de-Sac” and “Frontage Road Rocks: We’re Broke, Too.”

City planners were said to be looking carefully at survey maps to see if any social or commercial trends could be linked to boulevards named after plants, birds, presidents, or circus animals.

Word from within the entertainment industry was that a bailout-awareness-raising concert entitled, “On The Street Where You Live,” was being organized by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band.
It was expected to include a reunion performance by the Backstreet Boys, and special guest appearances by Elmo and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.


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