Recession over because Delaware has elected a witch, David Letterman says(Read article summary)
Recession over? Leno, Letterman, Stewart, Colbert line up to give their take on the announcement from the National Bureau of Economic Research
Feel free to do a double take. We certainly did.
The AP reported that during the 18-month recession 7.3 million jobs disappeared, 2.5 million homes were repossessed, and unemployment is now at 9.6 percent. Many Americans are still struggling to make ends meet – and wrap their heads around the idea that the economy is now growing.
But they say the recession has been over since June 2009?
Have we been living in the Land of Make Believe for the past year?
Poverty numbers are a bummer, says Stephen Colbert
Colbert then showed a CNN clip from Sept. 16, which said that the nation's poverty rate jumped to 14.3 percent last year, and that more than 43.5 million Americans are in need, the highest number in half a century of record keeping.
But as Colbert said, this poverty report is really "much ado about people who have nothing."
"I know many people who are summer homeless," he joked, saying that the rich have really suffered in the recession. "Besides giving money to rich people drives the economy. What do poor people do with their money? They blow it on the first heating bill that comes along!"
Jon Stewart says, "Hit me with that stick!"
Stewart played a clip of a man representing the Wall Street community at President Obama's latest town hall meeting, where the man said that Wall Streeters have felt like a piñata, that Obama has been whacking them with a stick. He asks, "When are we going to stop whacking at the Wall Street Piñata?"
"What you call a stick on Wall Street, I guess Americans call a trillion-dollar bailout of your industry," Stewart responded. "So you know I guess what a lot of Americans would be saying to Obama right now is, 'Hit me with that <expletive> stick!"
Maybe the nearly one in seven people living in poverty could use some of that trillion-dollar bailout?
David Letterman has the answer
It's because of Christine O'Donnell.
What are you going to do now that the recession is over?