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What to do when you're facing 16 charges of criminal corruption including racketeering conspiracy and wire fraud?
Well, obviously, you grab Fabio and do an Elvis impersonation at a Chicago block party. What else?
That's what you do if you are former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, anyway. And that's exactly what he did yesterday.
Unconventional? Of course. But we're talking about the same guy who guest-starred in a Rod Blagojevich musical a couple months ago and tried to appear in on the reality show, "I'm a celebrity ... get me out of here!" in June.
The courts wouldn't let him do that show, but they have no jurisdiction on Elvis impersonators. Take that you courts!
"You were robbed!"
So yesterday, Blago became Elvis for a glorious five minutes. As the curtain was raising, many cheers and a jeer or two rang out. But the crowd was mostly on his side when he greeted the audience.
"After I was wrongfully hijacked from office and the job I had was taken away from me, you gotta find work," he explained to the crowd.
"You were robbed!" yelled one party-goer. (Blago undoubtedly hopes he's a member of the judiciary).
"So I've been a day laborer and I met another guy -- Fabio who is no longer doing the Harlequin romances. He's doing day labor like me. You get to know somebody when you get to work with them on a day to day basis," he explained.
Why Blago introduced Fabio really isn't known. Because after the introduction, Fabio left the stage. And then we depressingly find out that the whole Fabio thing was a ruse. The Fabio guy was only an impersonator. But somehow this makes the event even richer.
After Fabio's exit, Blago could go about singing some Elvis Presley. "Now I'm going to sing a song because you can't vote against me anymore," the former governor explained before jumping into an appropriate Elvis number: "Treat Me Nice."
After the two-minute serenade -- complete with upturned collar and a swiveling hip or two -- Blagojevich concluded his Elvis impersonation by announcing that Chicago Mayor Daley would soon arrive to impersonate Mick Jagger and sing 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction.'" (Sadly, Daley never showed).
Why'd he do it? (Besides being a brilliant legal strategy). Money. A video production company paid him to do it. But one Chicago TV station says he's not keeping the money.
This one may have been for charity, but Blagojevich is available to appear at your next party (if the judges allow him to travel outside of Chicago). He's set up a new website where you can book Rod to give his "message of inspiration and hope."
Blago is in demand
After all, according to GovernorRod.com, "Because of his dynamic presentation and passion for people, Gov. Rod Blagojevich is one of the most sought after public figures for public speaking and appearances."
We'll let you judge for yourself whether he is worth an investment worthy for your company picnic.
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