One man's plan to use dog hair to solve the energy crisis
We can use it to fire utility plants, insulate the attic, and act as an additive for gasoline – Petkinol.
I think I've found the solution to our national energy problem. All I know for sure is that I'm in possession of a remarkable renewable resource. What I desperately need is for someone to evaluate my data and then advise me on how to proceed in order to bring the greatest good to the greatest number of Americans.
Our collective future could be determined by a yellow Labrador retriever named Lottie. She has a wonderful disposition and grows a completely new coat of hair every 18 to 24 hours. I know this because of the physical evidence that accumulates throughout the house, day after day, regardless of how often I fight back with my broom and vacuum cleaner.
Some dog owners may dismiss me as a wimp. A typical response happened not long ago when I met a friendly couple at a highway rest stop. They had two canine pals in their car, and after some cheerful small talk I began to tell them about my endless battle against the shedding enemy. They just grinned and said, "In our house we think of dog hair as a condiment." Very funny, but my situation is way beyond the laughing point.
Two factors keep me in a state of consternation and confusion. Once the individual fibers have launched themselves from Base Camp Lottie, they can travel great distances and circumvent any physical barrier. They're in kitchen drawers, in the shower, in all sorts of places the dog has never been.