No newts is good newts
Fortunately for all of us, the arms race and rising budgets aren't the only things in the news coming out of Washington. There are other things, slightly less troubling, but more bewildering, and we are not referring to speeches made by President Reagan.
Bewildering information also comes from the Smithsonian.
After some sort of survey, made for obscure reasons, it has been discovered that Washington is full of newts and frogs. At first this was believed to be propaganda put out by the Democrats, but it does have a basis in fact. The information may have been put out simply in the belief it would give Americans, if not the world, a nicer picture of Washington. Maybe wholesome is the word.
But according to Lightly's unofficial survey, newts and frogs have an opposite effect. According to findings, they give people the shudders and screaming meemees. Anyone who has seen any horror movies at all knows that when you get to a place full of newts and frogs, you are only one step away from the damp dungeon where the monster lives.
Of course, there are also snakes.
The news reassures us that the only dangerous snake found in Washington is the copperhead. This source didn't specify in which part of Washington the snakes are located, but it didn't exclude the corridors of Congress.
To find there are newts, frogs, and copperheads in the capital is not surprising when one considers all the other things that are going on. The copperhead has been there since the Civil War and is considered sneaky and extremely unobliging since it doesn't rattle before it bites you the way a rattlesnake does. People in the North who sided with the South were called copperheads. This sneakiness is not necessarily limited only to snakes found in the capital.
The question rises from time to time, why the snakes are not driven out of Washington. It is not an easy job. Usually they are sent there from other places.