'Why You're Not Married...Yet' author offers advice for readers

Huffington Post writer Tracy McMillan won over readers with her advice on relationships in her article "Why You're Still Not Married." Now her book "Why You're Not Married...Yet" offers tips for those who might be behaving – without knowing it – in ways that that could either discourage potential significant others or hurt current relationships. Here are 5 of McMillan's tips from her new book.

1. Stop judging

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McMillan writes that sometimes, people get too hung up on exact specifications they have for someone they date. "You won't settle for something that's good enough – it has got to be ideal," she writes. "You want every single need and desire you have to be satisfied, preferably right now, by finding, dating, and marrying the one person who has it all... the problem with perfectionism is that it is so dehumanizing. It causes you to see people not as human beings but as things. Objects. Have you ever heard the saying 'The perfect is the enemy of the good'? That's what happens when you allow yourself to give in to your perfectionist tendencies." McMillan says to take chances on people you may not think of yourself as being attracted to – if there's no attraction there, that's one thing, but don't immediately dismiss people.

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Dear Reader,

About a year ago, I happened upon this statement about the Monitor in the Harvard Business Review – under the charming heading of “do things that don’t interest you”:

“Many things that end up” being meaningful, writes social scientist Joseph Grenny, “have come from conference workshops, articles, or online videos that began as a chore and ended with an insight. My work in Kenya, for example, was heavily influenced by a Christian Science Monitor article I had forced myself to read 10 years earlier. Sometimes, we call things ‘boring’ simply because they lie outside the box we are currently in.”

If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.

But you know what? We change lives. And I’m going to argue that we change lives precisely because we force open that too-small box that most human beings think they live in.

The Monitor is a peculiar little publication that’s hard for the world to figure out. We’re run by a church, but we’re not only for church members and we’re not about converting people. We’re known as being fair even as the world becomes as polarized as at any time since the newspaper’s founding in 1908.

We have a mission beyond circulation, we want to bridge divides. We’re about kicking down the door of thought everywhere and saying, “You are bigger and more capable than you realize. And we can prove it.”

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