GOLF; Translating tour jargon

Anyone who's played golf for any length of time can explain what it means to hit a ball "fat" (short as the result of striking the ground first), make an "eagle" (two under par), or putt from the "frog's hair" (fringe of the green). But how many people understand this sentence? "He put on his nails, teed up his sirloin, and belted a Ewell Gibbons."

Those not privy to locker room discussions on the men's pro tour certainly will find the lingo confusing. Translated, the above reads: "He put on his golf shoes, teed up a surlyn-covered ball, and belted a shot far into the trees."

The point is, tour players have developed a jargon all their own.So that the press can understand it, the PGA Tour offers a list of terms and plain English definitions in the circuit's 1981 media guide.

Try these on for size: furniture (wooden-head clubs);dance floor (putting green); on the screws (a shot hit firmly and well, on the face of the club);trombones (a round of 76, as in "76 Trombones"); and Red Grange (a rou nd of 77, which was the famous hfalfback's jersey number).