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A Bob Orben Roundup

* All the world's a stage. Too bad it isn't a community theater.

* It helps to think of rock music as youth's way of getting even for spinach.

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* A condominium is a tenement with a press agent.

* Personally, I'm not going to support another depression. I gave in 1935.

* Now I know why they say, ''God Save the Queen!'' There's no one else on duty.

* When you hear that the government may have to borrow up to $150 billion next year, you have to feel for the lenders. How do you repossess a country?

* What did posterity ever do for us?

* What bothers me about TV is, it tends to take our minds off our minds.

* People who live in Beverly Hills don't have the same problems as the rest of us. That's true. For instance, in the rest of the United States it rains. In Beverly Hills, it Perriers.

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* I'm a little sorry the government is handing out surplus cheese. That's all we need - brie lines.

* You can't go wrong if you follow the Mickey Rooney approach to public speaking: Be short and funny.

* This is the season when, every week, your lawn seems to look at you and say , ''One mow time!''

* Do you realize that with its new five-year warranty, Chrysler is offering a better deal than most marriages?

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