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A questionnaire

RECENTLY I received a questionnaire in the mail seeking answers for a survey on the householder's use of electronic equipment. Such questions as the following were printed there:

* Do you have a home computer?

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* Do you have a microwave oven?

* Do you have one or several video games?

* Do you own high-precision tools?

* Do you use an elevator lift in your home?

There were other questions all related to advanced technology and progressive automation.

I felt a slight awkwardness as I answered each of these questions negatively. We did not have even a single article of this sophisticated applied science in our home. Did this lack of modern supplies mark us as mid-Victorian?

Disgruntled, I noticed a remark at the end of the questionnaire.

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''If any power and energy item you own has been omitted from this list, please explain on the attached sheet.''

This gave me an idea. On the blank sheet I wrote my own questionnaire:

* Have you ever milked a cow?

* Have you ever dug potatoes?

* Have you ever set a hen?

* Have you ever rescued a wounded pigeon?

* Have you ever plowed a straight furrow?

* Have you ever churned milk into golden butter?

* Have you ever made jelly from wild blackberries?

* Have you ever smelled wild onions lingering on the morning air?

* Have you ever located a shy turkey's nest?

* Have you ever helped birth a calf?

* Have you watched a pussy willow bursting into bud?

* Have you savored the dusk of an April evening on a country hillside?

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