Frugal relationships: Why money can't buy love(Read article summary)
Spending money to impress a partner or potential partner rarely works over the long term, Hamm writes.
After much recent talk about insurance, weâre going to shift gears a little bit in our â365âł series and talk about relationships.
We all need human relationships in our lives, whether theyâre close friendships, romantic relationships, or professional associations. Relationships are a big part of the spice of life.
Unfortunately, relationships can also be expensive, particularly romantic ones. So, for the next several entries, weâre going to focus on ways to minimize the costs of starting and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Itâs natural that, when youâre just getting to know someone, you want to impress them. You want that person to think highly of you and want to spend more time with you.
One convenient way to do that is to spend money, either through buying things for the person youâre interested in or spending excessively on yourself to appear affluent and desirable.
The catch is thatÂ spending to impress others rarely works over the long term.
If you do win over the person, theyâre going to eventually find that your spending is not sustainable. Youâre not quite the affluent person this individual thought you were. In some cases, that can lead to mistrust and a breakdown of the relationship.
On the other hand, if you donât win over the person, the money simply went to waste.
The best approach is toÂ win people over with the person you are.Â Donât hide the real you behind a wall of money. Instead, leave it out there.
Allow that person to click withÂ you, not the things you spend money on or the appearance you put up.
If youâre even thinking of spending a dime solely to impress someone else, ask yourself what happens if you do win them over. Are you going to keep overspending? Or are you going to show yourself to be a different person than you originally showed them?
Be yourself. Donât waste a dime impressing others. It rarely helps in the long run.
This post is part of a yearlong series called â365 Ways to Live Cheap (Revisited),â in which Iâm revisiting the entries from my book â365 Ways to Live Cheap,â which is availableÂ at AmazonÂ and at bookstores everywhere.Â