So our recent track record of achievement is remarkably lame. But I want you to know that my fellow guys and I are cool with the experts’ solutions to our problems. In fact we’re delighted. We are passing the chips, cracking a cold one. Here are a few of the experts’ hot-off-the-press ideas:
1) Guys need extra attention and understanding.
Bingo. Right on target. Our sisters and moms and wives seem way too busy with all of their jobs and chores. They bustle around, doing more housework and volunteering than we do, hardly noticing that our blank expressions and belly-up positions on the couch hide truly sensitive natures.
2) We need even more freedom in school to squirm around and to just be boys.
Um, sure. We agree. Though in stricter times we guys learned how to sit at desks, absorb books, and pay respectful attention, it was a drag. Teachers and parents simply expected us to put in the quiet time we needed to learn stuff, and if we didn’t, we lost a privilege or two. Didn’t they realize how unpleasant this was for us? Didn’t they get it? We guys prefer fishing or kicking a ball or just hanging loose to being stuck in a classroom!
3) Men are being punished by a feminized, girl-focused culture.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Even though we’re fawned over and favored by moms, zip up the ladder at our jobs, get paid more, and society accepts the trend that we trade in wives for younger trophies, you’d be crazy to think that we’re in charge.
And sure, though our daughters now play guy-style sports and still say they’re “Daddy’s girls,” we are the ones really feeling the pain. Anyone can tell you.
4) Trying to civilize us guys is really just an attempt to turn us into women with whiskers.