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'Pain & Gain' never comes to life

Director Michael Bay seems to have forgotten he's directing humans rather than robots in his new film.


'Pain & Gain' stars Mark Wahlberg (l.) and Rebel Wilson (r.).

Fred Prouser/Reuters

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It’s official. Michael Bay, director of the “Transformers” clobberfests, knows how to make movies about humans, too. The problem is, he thinks humans are robots.

“Pain & Gain” is about a trio of knuckleheaded Miami bodybuilders who kidnap a loudmouthed millionaire and take him for everything he’s got, but its resemblance to the “Transformers” movies is patently obvious. Nobody in it seems to possess a nervous system.

The three beefcakes are played by Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson (he doesn’t go by The Rock anymore – pity) and Anthony Mackie. Tony Shalhoub is the nattery Colombian-Jewish kidnapee who, Rasputin-like, refuses to die despite the knuckleheads’ every effort to put him asunder.


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