Sometimes you don't need an iPod to enjoy the best music.
I perpetually have songs in my heart – hummable hymns in my throat and improvisational jazz vocals à la Ella Fitzgerald on my lips.
Alas, these locations no longer suffice.
Am I the only one who doesn't have 500 favorite songs on an electronic device the size of a pack of gum? Please tell me I'm not alone.
I must be iPod-ed to join the 21st century, according to Emma, my beloved 12-year-old goddaughter and technology guru.
Emma has a gleam in her eye and spouts attributes I hadn't considered. "Music is just the beginning," she says. "You can download videos, TV shows, audiobooks, and podcasts."
Oh, goody, podcasts. Reminder to self: Find out what a podcast is.
"And, Gabba (my godmom name), it's great for working out," she assures me.
I wonder how picking up a five-ounce sliver of technology will help me get in shape. Oh, I'm supposed to take my song-enriched little buddy, plug myself in, and jog around the park, barely noticing my huffing and puffing thanks to the distractions flooding my ears.
How in the world can I live without this contraption?
I decide to lose my musical high-tech innocence and join the cheery band of entertainment aficionados who are literally plugged in and turned on (in a tuneful fashion) at every moment.
For all I know, everyone else nods off into dreamland with iPod still attached, providing musical accompaniment for middle-of-the-night fantasies. Farewell, oh faithful flock of sheep; you can no longer count on me, nor I on you. Insomnia be gone. Here's the new bedtime ritual: brush teeth, say prayers, and hook myself up to Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik."