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August is . . .

AUGUST is the month when . . . A perspiring suburbanite, weary of weeks of superheated mowing, impatiently awaits the cooler breezes of September, when he will fertilize the lawn. That way he'll get to cut it twice as often next summer . . .

A providential gardener each evening plies returning commuters with vegetables from an abundant garden. Across the street a perennially tardy friend anxiously watches his veggies begin their annual race with Jack Frost: Will this finally be the year they win? . . .

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A procrastinating neighbor, after three months of avoidance, fixes the leaky garden hose and prepares his cocoa-hued lawn for its baptismal watering. Only to discover that the sprinkler, supposed to fan a carpet of water over a large area, instead delivers it in one thin stream -- unwavering, straight up, and rooftop high.