'Why You're Not Married...Yet' author offers advice for readers

Writer Tracy McMillan offers readers advice on relationships.

4. Learn to be kind to yourself

Two women sit reflected in a mirror. Carlo Allegri/Reuters

McMillan says that feeling bad about yourself can often sneak up on you. "Self-hate is also a shape-shifter," she wrote. "And one of its favorite ways to present itself is through the idea that nothing is good enough for you. This is why you reject people and things that could make you truly happy, in favor of peopple and things that will satisfy the self-hate. For instance, you decide to stay on unemployment and wait for your dream job instead of accepting a decent-but-can't-immediately-see-how-it's-going-to-get-you-the-career-you-want job that will let you support yourself and your kid." McMillan says to start being nice to yourself as soon as possible. "Your ability to be compassionate and kind to someone – even when that someone has just done something really stupid, and even when that someone is you – comes from your ability to be compassionate and kind to yourself," she wrote.

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Dear Reader,

About a year ago, I happened upon this statement about the Monitor in the Harvard Business Review – under the charming heading of “do things that don’t interest you”:

“Many things that end up” being meaningful, writes social scientist Joseph Grenny, “have come from conference workshops, articles, or online videos that began as a chore and ended with an insight. My work in Kenya, for example, was heavily influenced by a Christian Science Monitor article I had forced myself to read 10 years earlier. Sometimes, we call things ‘boring’ simply because they lie outside the box we are currently in.”

If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.

But you know what? We change lives. And I’m going to argue that we change lives precisely because we force open that too-small box that most human beings think they live in.

The Monitor is a peculiar little publication that’s hard for the world to figure out. We’re run by a church, but we’re not only for church members and we’re not about converting people. We’re known as being fair even as the world becomes as polarized as at any time since the newspaper’s founding in 1908.

We have a mission beyond circulation, we want to bridge divides. We’re about kicking down the door of thought everywhere and saying, “You are bigger and more capable than you realize. And we can prove it.”

If you’re looking for bran muffin journalism, you can subscribe to the Monitor for $15. You’ll get the Monitor Weekly magazine, the Monitor Daily email, and unlimited access to CSMonitor.com.

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