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A sampling of New Year’s resolutions

Angelina Jolie vows to adopt the Vienna Boys’ Choir, while Barack O’Bama plans to learn more Don Ho songs.

Sarah Palin
1. Invite a Moose – and a Rotarian – for lunch.
2. Have a moose for lunch.

Joe Biden
1. Ask Dick Cheney to move out of the guest bedroom.
2. Look into that school crossing guard job to fill my up afternoons.

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Angelina Jolie
1. Adopt the Vienna Boys’ Choir
2. Get a larger size lipstick.

Dick Cheney
1. Learn the lyrics for “Kumbaya”
2. Tell Biden, “I’ll move out when I’m good and ready.”

Rudy Giuliani
1. Demand a recount.
2. Try to sell “drill, baby, drill” mantra to the Dental Association.

President-elect Obama
1. Get a dog that’s bigger than the Biden’s.
2. Learn more Don Ho songs.

President Bush
1. Allow only reporters with shoes that are Size 5 or smaller into press conferences.
2. Take the karaoke machine back to Texas.

Chuck Cohen writes from Mill Valley, Calif.