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The new normal in adoption: Birth parent no longer secret

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The Donaldson institute, citing its own research and numerous other studies, said most participants find open adoptions a positive experience. In general, the report said, adoptive families are more satisfied with the adoption process, birth mothers experience less regret and worry, and the adopted children benefit by having access to their birth relatives, as well as to their family and medical histories.

"The good news is that adoption in our country is traveling a road toward greater openness and honesty," said Adam Pertman, the institute's executive director. "But this new reality also brings challenges, and there are still widespread myths and misconceptions about open adoption."

The challenges, according to Mr. Pertman and other adoption experts, often involve mismatched expectations as to the degree of post-adoption contact. The Donaldson report recommends counseling and training for all the adults involved, as well as post-adoption services to help them and their children work through any problems that arise.

The president of one of the largest US adoption agencies, Bill Blacquiere of Bethany Christian Services, said his staff encourages expectant birth mothers to meet with the prospective adoptive family to discuss the array of options for an open adoption.

"As much as possible, we allow the parties to design that themselves," Mr. Blacquiere said. "We mediate to make sure both parties are getting what they need."

The post-adoption relationship may start out warily, then become more comfortable as time passes, but Blacquiere said each party should keep the other's expectations in mind even as circumstances change.

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