Happy Halloween at this dad's house means not having loser candy. It means not being a mean monster to the Winnie-the-Pooh who takes too many treats. And it means letting a tiny policeman use the bathroom.
Let’s see, handing out one piece to each kid seems kind of stingy, but it looks busy out on the sidewalk. I hope I have enough. Somebody like the Gallup organization should do pre-Halloween polling so we get a better idea of what the turnout’s going to be.
Ah, here come some familiar figures – Superman and Green Lantern. I’ll let each of them choose what they want. Oh, great, they’re picking through the whole bowl now. C’mon guys, you’ll never make it to the end of the block at this pace.
Yikes, suddenly it’s like a flash mob. Hard to see who’s getting what with so many hands reaching in. I think that little Pooh Bear kid might have grabbed three pieces, but he’s so incredibly cute, and only a real monster would scold Winnie the Pooh for taking too many treats.
Whew! Time to fill the bowl back up. Wait, what’s this? Some kind of strange jelly worm thing – hey, this is a treat from another house somebody didn’t want! Hmm, do I toss it out or put it back into circulation? I better toss it. I don’t want to get a reputation for giving out loser candy.