The Internet might be atwitter with theories about Ron Paul's eyebrows (seriously), but he rises above the fray to propose the mother of all budget cuts. Yes, that's $1 trillion in one year.
We ask this delicate question only because it came up following the most recent wrangle of GOP presidential candidates. Photos showed what appeared to be a false eyebrow, or perhaps a wooly bear caterpillar, drooping off one of Mr. Paul’s eyes.
Now before we get too far into this, and angry Paulites crash our e-mail, jam our phones, and generally render moot our attempts at electronic interaction with the world, we’ll get to Paul’s new budget proposal in a moment.
We’re just getting the eyebrow thing out of the way first.
The Paul campaign thinks the wayward-brow stories are silly, of course. Campaign spokesman Jesse Benton has called the fake-brow theory “stupid” and “insulting.”
Our take on it is this: the charge of artificial enhancement makes no sense. Fake eyebrows on a no-longer 20-year-old guy? Yes, we know The New York Times says it’s a flourishing business. But they’ve also run stories on how city hipsters are hot for designer axes. Just because it’s a trend in NoMoSoHo doesn’t mean it’s a thing in, you know, the actual world.
Take it from us. Unfortunately, we know. When you reach a certain age, the nice young woman cutting your hair starts to trim your eyebrows, not enhance them. That’s because with age comes wisdom, and also eyebrow hairs that shoot off your forehead like rocket contrails.